And it’s hard to get over the first time you go to therapy if you have never been to therapy before. You will also be nervous about what the therapist will ask you for the first time and how you’ll prepare for the first time and what you will tell him or her and how to feel good going into the appointment.
People who have never really been in contact with mental health professionals before might be worried about the therapist; a very common issue for people who have never really had time and experience in the past to speak to a mental health professional and are very anxious about the therapist.
But your first therapy session won’t be a test, and you don’t have to answer everything you want to answer. It’s a chance to share what you are feeling, understand therapy and decide if the therapist is someone you like to work with and if so, if you’d like to work with him or her.
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As outlined in the guidelines for starting therapy, the first session is mainly about knowing what you have to do, knowing your background and knowing what you want to do. Trust is not established in a day; it takes some time.
What does therapy look like at the beginning?
You will probably have an initial talk and an assessment at the beginning of your first meeting. Your therapist might ask how long you have been having problems in your life and how these have affected your day-to-day life.
You would also be asked about your family, relationships, work, sleep, physical health and past experiences with mental health support. You’re not going to be focusing on one problem in isolation; your therapist needs to know where you are and what problems you’re in and your life.
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The therapist can explain how to do it, the expected frequency of sessions, fees and confidentiality policies. They could talk about goals and how to collaborate on them too.
Your first session won’t be all about details of every difficult experience. In most cases the first meeting is about establishing a starting point for future conversations.
It’s normal to get nervous, emotional as well as uncertain with a session. You can ask a question and you can ask for clarification and the therapist is in charge to answer or if you don’t feel like talking about a topic.
What should you talk about in therapy?
You don’t need to have a perfect picture of what is happening in your life. Begin with what has been troubling you most or caused you to seek help.
Stress at work, relationship problems, family disputes, grief, anxiety, low self-esteem, or even feelings that you can’t name are some of the things you would like to talk about. You’d also talk about recurring thoughts, mood swings and patterns of behavior you’d like to understand better.
If you don’t know how to find the right words, it is perfectly OK to say, “I don’t know where to start, but I haven’t been feeling like myself lately.”
If you could describe two or three things you had to talk about before your appointment, you might want to write down a few of them and you would mention when it started; how they affect your daily life, and how you would like to change it.
And remember that you can tell when you’re ready. A good therapist will work with you and mentor you to learn to talk about difficult things when you are ready.
How do you know that the therapist you are searching for is the one?
The right therapist is not just about their qualifications but about your needs. And you need to factor their communication style, experience and approach to your needs, too.
A good therapeutic relationship is built on trust, respect and cooperation. You should feel that the therapist listens carefully, takes your concerns seriously, and allows you to ask questions without feeling judged.
What signs should be looked out for?
You feel heard: The therapist listens to your concerns and tries to understand your perspective instead of making assumptions.
You feel respected: Your boundaries, values, and experiences are taken seriously.
Their approach is clear: They describe how they work and explain what therapy will involve.
You can ask questions: You feel comfortable talking about your doubts, goals, and concerns about the process.
You work towards common goals: The therapist collaborates with you to identify what progress could look like.
You might not feel quite settled in your first session, especially if you’re new to talking about your own stuff. Trust usually develops slowly. But a lot of times when you feel dismissed, judged, or pressured to disclose more than you’re comfortable with will tell you the therapist isn’t the right one.
What are the questions to ask before you choose a therapist?
You can also assess the therapist and decide if you’d like to work with him or her again. A few questions can help you know what to expect.
Ask your therapist about their qualifications, experience with concerns similar to yours, therapeutic approach and duration or frequency of sessions.
As well as how progress will be assessed, what happens if you disagree with something during therapy and how confidentiality is maintained.
Confidentiality is fundamental in therapy, but there are legal and safety issues that differ from place to place. When you share information with the therapist that you don’t want to share with them, tell them what you don’t want to share.
If you are looking for a specific professional who is qualified for a specific problem (trauma, anxiety, relationship problems), look for someone who has relevant experience.
What if you get your first therapy session not very well?
One uncomfortable session isn’t a sign that therapy won’t help. You may need time to adjust to the process, and the therapist needs more information to understand your situation.
But you do not have to stay with a therapist who makes you feel unsafe, disrespected, or misunderstood. If possible, talk to the therapist and see if you have any problems so they can change their approach. You can also choose another professional if the fit doesn’t improve.
Progress in therapy is rarely immediate or perfectly linear. Some sessions may be productive, while others may leave you with questions to consider. The important thing is whether you are gradually developing a better understanding of yourself and working towards meaningful goals.
Starting therapy doesn’t require you to have everything figured out. Just being in a place of talking, asking questions and going slowly and naturally at your own speed is enough to start the process.
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