Ghosting, situationships and breadcrumbing have become familiar words in the modern dating dictionary. But Indian Gen-Z singles are now recognizing a new kind of dating behaviour that is not always toxic but that still affects emotional wellbeing and the way people approach relationships.
A recent survey by Indian dating site QuackQuack has highlighted three emerging patterns among young Indian singles: the canon event, emotional layover and dial-toning. With the exception of dating red flags, these behaviours may be due to loneliness, curiosity, self-discovery or, simply, bad timing.
The survey was conducted on more than 10,000 active dating app users aged 18 to 28 years and in metropolitan, suburban and rural areas of India. Participants came from different professional backgrounds with men and women equally represented.
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QuackQuack founder and CEO Ravi Mittal said dating behaviours are always evolving and understanding these trends can help people to know what they are experiencing instead of being ignorant to the dynamics.
The Canon Event: Dating Someone You Know May Not Be 'The One'
The first trend identified by the survey is the canon event—a relationship or dating experience that someone knowingly enters, knowing that there is no sure way it will last.
The idea is that certain relationships are valuable because of what they teach you, even if they don’t have a long term future. Nearly 4 in 10 women surveyed said they had connected with and dated someone but knew that the relationship would probably be temporary because they wanted to feel loved at that point in their lives or they felt that the experience would teach them something important.
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More than 3,945 respondents between 23 and 28 years old reportedly related to this experience. Among men from Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities, 27 per cent said they have been paired with someone with a personality completely different from their own to have a fuller understanding of dealbreakers, to the best of their ability. For some people, passion over stability was part of the experience of doing something meaningful, even if it was a short-lived one.
In this case, the relationship isn’t necessarily a mistake. It is, rather, a learning experience that informs a person’s understanding of what they want, and perhaps more importantly, what they don’t want.
Emotional Layover: Seeking Temporary Emotional Comfort.
The second trend, emotional layover, is tied more closely to loneliness and vulnerability. About 37 per cent of participants above the age of 25 said some matches temporarily occupied emotional space during periods of loneliness, major life transitions, vulnerability or personal crises.
An emotional layover can feel like a real connection. Two people may share personal experiences, become emotionally intimate and provide each other with comfort. But the relationship may exist only because one or both need emotional support during a difficult phase.
The survey found that 22 per cent of singles said such connections can feel incredibly intimate. But recognition of the pattern is key because when life gets tough, the long-term reliance on temporary relationships can be a cycle.
At the same time, 5 in 10 app users said they genuinely cared about their match but needed immediate emotional shelter, while 4 in 10 admitted to knowingly being someone's emotional layover because they knew that the other person needed care at that point in time.
The main concern with this pattern is that emotional vulnerability makes it difficult to know whether the connection is based on genuine compatibility or simply a need for comfort.
Dial-Toning: Keeping The Connection Barely Alive.
A third trend is dial-toning, which is the behaviour in which someone keeps a former or unsuccessful match within emotional reach without actually pursuing the relationship.
This could involve watching someone’s social media stories, randomly responding to a post, sending an emoji or even responding to a message. There is interaction but not enough intention to move things forward.
More than 45 per cent of dating singles from Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad and Bengaluru said dial-toning seems to be gaining traction, particularly in busy Tier 1 cities where people may not have the time or emotional bandwidth to pursue every connection.
A survey also indicated that 55 per cent of participants aged 18 to 26 admitted to dial-toning a match for months before they recognized the behaviour and ended the cycle. Some singles over 26 said they had kept this low level contact because they didn’t feel the time was right to take the next step.
In contrast to breadcrumbing, where attention can sometimes be deliberately paid to keep someone interested, dial-toning might be more about keeping a small line of emotional availability without actively pursuing a relationship.
What These Dating Patterns Mean
Not every unconventional dating behaviour is automatically toxic. The canon event, for example, can be part of self-discovery, and an emotional layover can be a comfort during a particularly difficult time. Dial-toning can also simply reflect uncertainty or bad timing.
But when people are not clear about what they want to do or persist in behaviour that keeps someone involved emotionally and does not provide clarity, things get lost.
For Gen-Z singles who are in increasingly fluid relationships, identifying these patterns is something they can do to better understand their own behaviour—and the behaviour of their matches. The idea isn’t to call every single strange dating experience a red flag, but to make it easier for us to become more emotionally aware of ourselves and to have open lines of communication and boundaries in modern relationships.
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